Hail storms, gallons of poop, and broken derailers...

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Spent five days in CO/UT working the Bikerpelli tour on the Kokopelli mountain bike trail. It was an epic four days doing logistical support for 90 riders as they rode the 142 miles from Fruita, CO to Moab, UT. Try to imagine sending 90 riders off in the AM, meeting them for lunch as the stagger in over the course of 4 or 5 hours, then meeting them for dinner...doesn't sound too difficult eh? And truly it wasn't, but only for the near perfected system designed over the years by the tour director.
Not sure where really to begin with this one, so I will try to pick out the juicy...and often smelly details. The event itself was a tour, not an event. The distinction here simply being that our focus was on group support and less on individual attention. This meant that there was no on trail support, just bike repair areas at the aid station at lunch and at camp in the evening. While the riders were on trail we spent our time driving the riders gear, our gear, and often several riders in two full size budget rental box trucks and a fifteen passenger van. There are photos to come, but just to paint a picture these roads were often four wheel drive only and one included 22 creek crossings.
At lunch, in addition to a bike repair area, we setup several tables with a nice make your own sandwich lunch spread, put out a variety of camp chairs, and generally attended to the condition of the riders trickling into the station. The evening was another matter. The goal was to arrive to camp an hour or so before the riders at which point we unloaded 90 large duffels, and 90 camp chairs, before setting up our gear in preparation for cooking that nights dinner. In addition to the tables, stoves, food etc. needed for cooking, we were also charged with setting up toilets. 90 people is by no means my definition of a low impact backcountry group, but in an attempt to minimize the footprint we setup 5 toilet areas. These were a relatively simple system of "bathroom doors," signs staggered some 50 yards from the actual toilet areas, followed by a trail of orange flags leading to the toilet. The toilets themselves were generic 10 gallon buckets, with plastic snap-on toilet seats. Next to each toilet was another bucket of kitty litter. After using the bathroom, the user was supposed to cover his/her product with a scoop full of kitty litter. Although far from preventing all odor, the system worked relatively well. Picking out scenic and private spots for the toilets became something of a challenge and was even entertaining. Picking up the toilets in the morning was a much less pleasant process...carting around 10 buckets of human waste is 100% as unpleasant as it sounds.
During the day I filled multiple rolls, but was spent most of my time driving what we referred to as the "SAG" wagon. This was a 15 passenger van available at breakfast and lunch for riders wishing the skip the next segment of trail. Occasionally the van was used to shuttle riders from the lunch spot passed a portion of the afternoons ride. On our last day we shuttled riders passed a 6 mile sections of uphill pavement to the trail head of the next section. I managed to drop off one load of riders...in 40 degree temperatures and heavy hail...before the afternoon ride was called. Those eight riders, ranging in age from 22 to 52, sat in the van at the trail head for about 20 minutes before communally peer pressuring each other into going for it. As one rider relayed to me later "even after you left we circled on our bikes at the trail head, waiting for someone to chicken out or take the plunge. After about 30 minutes one of the other riders let out a loud "fuck it!" and tore off into a dark muddy unknown." About 6 hours later those eight riders trickled into our evening camp, coated head to toe, tire to tire in mud.
Included are a few pictures from the journey. Unfortunately I was only able to snap a few quick shots with my iphone, but one of my epic 8 muddy riders has promised to send some of his along.

That hissing sound when your knife penetrates the torso...(Part 1)

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"...we stand a good chance of preventing reproduction this year and heading off emigration into Scotia Canyon from that direction." Something about the level of professionalism in the email did not really convey the full depth of the upcoming experience. It was complete with full punctuation and capitalization, correct grammar and spelling, and an excessively tidy electronic signature. All indications were that this would be a very proficient and highly technical operation.
In Arizona, there are a number of relatively devastating invasive/exotic plants and animals. They take many forms, from buffle grass to the "quagga" mussel. For our purposes the target of our aforementioned efforts to prevent reproduction would be the bullfrog. The bullfrog, although highly sought after by princesses seeking a prince, has a surprising devastating impact on the already fragile Arizona desert ecosystem. The scientific details, although intriguing, are not of much consequence to this story. You can read more about it an older National Geographic article...or just google "Arizona bullfrogs." Three Dog Night sang of Jeremiah who was a bullfrog, and apparently also a good friend. He may very well have been a terrific guy by bullfrog standards, but in Arizona he still would not have been welcome.
And thus, after several months of hearing stories of the epic battle against the bullfrogs I was invited along on a foray to the front lines in the war. Late in the afternoon we piled into a Forest Service green pickup truck (a color that cannot be described, but is instantly recognizable) and headed off into the depths of Coronado National Forest. The frogs had taken up residence in several stock tanks around the national forest, as is common throughout the state. Here I will not get into an explanation of the disappointing relationship between the forest service and ranchers other than to say that I find it less than ideal and relatively typical of an often backwards agency like the forest service. There, only one sentence, albeit a run on, bashing the forest service. They also do lots and lots and lots of good work, and employ lots and lots and lots of good people.
Anyway, after a long and uncomfortable ride on what were often barely passable 4 wheel drive roads with 3 of us packed into the cab if the truck and a radio awkwardly positioned where the middle passengers legs should have rested, we arrived at Lone Mountain Tank (LMT). LMT was hardly more than a mud hole at this point; it doesn't really rain in Arizona from about mid-August until late June. My associates in the war on the frogs, who for our purposes will be known simply as C and G, climbed out of the truck and immediately began surveying LMT through binoculars. I fell somewhat helpless at this point as I had not anticipated binoculars to be a key piece of bullfrog slaughtering equipment. After a few short moments of squatting on the banks of the tank, the sun quickly disappearing over the ridge to our west, we managed to spot five frogs. C, a former army sniper and current volunteer for the forest service, setup a standing position behind a small mesquite with his .22 rested between two branches. A long silence fell over the area as G and I crouched on the bank anxiously watching C zero in on a frog bold enough to breach the surface no more than 20 yards away. From our vantage point only the frogs bulging eyes were visible as he floated, basking in the last rays of that days sun. A sudden popping sound tore through the silence, and the frog exploded from the water from an combination of self propulsion and the impact of a hollow tip bullet.
A few hours later, with night almost fully upon us, dinner in our stomachs, and full waders on we advanced on LMT once again. We retrieved the victim from early that day, floating near the edge of the tank, and tallied out first kill for the night. The rest of the slaughter would be done from much closer range, and would require a combination of stealth and cunning that would make the border patrol agents who patrolled the same forest envious. TO BE CONTINUED...

The next 4 months-ish

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Back to the Future II

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More in my continued effort to recover some of the video of the past two years. Here is the first half of the video from Summer 2008.





Back to the Future...

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With my extra week of leisure time here in Southern AZ I've decided to attempt to compile the videos of my last two summers here on the blog. Unfortunately, due to a hard drive crash a few months back I have lost the originals of the JL 2007 and PNW 2008 videos. So to start things off, here is the video from summer 2007.

PART I



PART II



PART III

False Start...

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Departure date delayed approximately a week for reasons to be disclosed later. In the meantime, enjoy the following video of one of the most epic sunsets I have ever witnessed. This was the sunset in Hereford, Arizona back in late February. Stick around until the end, its worth it.

Cowboy Orchestra Rides Again!

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Or something along those lines...
So far I have failed entirely to update this page with an regularity. Thus, the adventures of the past few months have gone largely undocumented. Maybe some day when I have a bit more time I will attempt to fill in the holes from June 2008 until April 2009. For now I want to focus on trying to keep up with at least semi-regular posts about my current adventures. All that needs to be said for now is that summer 2008 was terrific. Turned out to be an epic summer and an epic Pacific Northwest trip! Since then, I've worked a couple jobs, most recently for the Nature Conservancy. My tasks during this latest employment have included trail maintenance, construction, some plant removal, a little forest thinning, and even a little bullfrog homicide.
For now, those are the only details you get. After all, this blog is about on the choicest of ridiculous stories from my travels...not about the boring details of my life...I wish to avoid becoming one of those people who feels the needs to share the play-by-plays of daily life.
With that in mind, I set out on my next adventure in just three days. I'm hitting the road for some traveling, a couple roadtrips, a bit of work, and finally a return to TBird to lead the JL trip once again. I will attempt to update this more often, but only with the best of what are certain to be a series of absurd stories one can only experience while traveling. Cheers!